Have you ever seen the ugly side of a relationship and thought, “I never want to be like that when I’m married”? Of course you have. Learning by exception leverages our negative experiences and observations in order to change the way we ourselves act. They have a deep well of positive examples from which to draw.Ģ. This is what helps the child from a healthy home to develop their own thriving family. Learning by example involves capturing and replicating the best and most desirable aspects of what we have seen and experienced. ![]() Your relationship may be effected by your parents’ divorce, but your past does not determine your future. If you’ve got a healthy relationship with someone you’d like to marry, but are afraid of the future because of the mess you’ve seen some make of marriage, maybe it’s time to relax. Truth #1: The future of your marriage is not pre-determined by your past experiences. If you’re ready for marriage, but think you can’t afford it, consider these three truths. I caution couples who are considering moving in together before marriage. Unfortunately, putting off marriage indefinitely can have unintended negative consequences, especially for couples who are fit for marriage in every way except financially. They look at couples they admire, especially successful parents, and assume that they can’t make that leap into marriage until they can afford a nice house, two new cars, and a whole bunch of other stuff. They expect to “have it all” the moment they say their vows.In their minds, moving in together is a reasonable accommodation for their scheduling difficulties. They’re putting off marriage until later in life because they’re taking longer to get started in life and career than previous generations.Rather than face their fears regarding commitment, and all it involves, they cite lack of funds and venture into a different living arrangement. They’re leery of committing to marriage after watching Mom, Dad and others fail at this vital relationship.They therefore put off marrying until some perceived ideal future time. Over the years, I’ve discovered that young couples often feel squashed by a number of pressures. ![]() ![]() However, I’ve grown to enjoy the conversations that follow. So when I see couples moving outside of God’s boundaries for relationships, I’m concerned. Sexual purity before marriage sets a pattern of healthy sexual behavior after the wedding, contributing to a lifetime of fulfillment in marriage. Those are problematic words for a pastor hoping to guide people toward a great start to marriage. We don’t really have enough money to get married, but we hope to save up for that someday.” We’re just moving in together for right now.
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